Maggie Cat is back to normal - demanding her food. Sleeping with me at night.  I canceled the vet yesterday and will take her on Friday. She will board there while I am away from the City for visits with friends and family. A neighbour visited  Maggie Cat three times with her healing energy.  I truly think Sandy gave Maggie Cat hope (as I had little for her and kept trying to tell her we would meet on the other side).  Between antibiotics and Sandy’s energy - Maggie is thriving at the moment. (We are both finishing off on the same antibiotic - isn’t that a hoot?)

I am putting my condo on the market Friday. Listing for three months and we will see what the market will bear. I can’t seem to write or paint here.  Although perhaps that is because I was healing as well. I may still be here in ten years time - but I am testing the waters in any event.  I thought condominium living would be worry-free but that is not exactly the case. Love Barbara

Maggie Cat In 2003 - resting on my bed.

This pic is kind of neat as the edges of the comforter fold into the page here. Mmmmmmmmmmm.

Maggie Cat has been taking her antibiotics quite willingly and we have had loving days. She is not drinking or eating much though. And of course there isn’t much in her litter box. She would not sleep with me last night - something she always has done. The vet’s office called to check on her and so she is going back in on Tuesday. At that time, if she is not greatly improved, I will put her to sleep. My five year old grandson joins me Tuesday evening so that will be lovely.  Then if Daughter is up to it she and the other two children will visit for a night. This way our extended family can meet little Malcolm who is now ten days old !

I didn’t think I could be with Maggie Cat when the time came to put her to sleep but now I know I want to be with her.  What a precious gift she has been to me - this cat.

Maggie Cat was a scrawny kitten (runt of the litter but had a fierce growl) and full of flees when we first met soon after marital split twenty years ago.  She has been with me through thick and thin. In my book I write,  “One of my favourite past-times is to wrap myself in a terry-cloth robe and snuggle in with a book  - my feet tucked under me. The problem is that Maggie Cat likes terry cloth, too. She perches on my lap and drags her claws along the fabric; I end up with long strings trailing. Sometimes Maggie Cat’s claws become caught in the threads and she remains snagged until I disentangle her … If we have viewed ourselves in one way all our lives, we can become caught up, too. Just like Maggie Cat.”

Recent posts about Maggie Cat are here and here.

Love Barbara

Maggie Cat seems comfortable. I have been up part of the night with her as she likes to be petted. We go to the vet this morning at eleven. She is becoming very thin, not eating very much at all and not holding everything down. Not drinking much. She purred two days in a row which can accompany death apparently. So there has been a lot of holding and I had a good talk with her about what is happening.  A friend is going with me this morning. Maggie Cat has been a faithful and loving companion - featured in my book Soul Gifts: The World’s Self-Help Book. Michelle Arbeau walked into my life a few years ago and had this to say about Maggie, “The cat is yet another piece of the past falling away in favor of the new.  Her work in your life is done.”  I expect Michelle is correct and that Maggie Cat will be euthanized today. I recall Pauline Edward talking about her cat dying - in the book I reviewed for her. Love Barbara

Update post vet: Maggie is on an antibiotic and we will see what is up in four or five days. I feel better about this.

My third grandchild - Malcolm Robert - arrived and he is just so sweet.  Twenty inches long. 7.4 pounds and born Feb 3 at 8:48 PM.  I just spent a few days with the little family. Daughter was in the hospital about thirty minutes before delivering - it was a quick labour and delivery.  Malcolm was born “en caul”  - within the amniotic sac.  In other words, Daughter’s water never broke. I am not absolutely certain if Malcolm had the caul on his face (known as being born behind the veil) or wore the caul as a cap. His father remembers the caul being swept away by the nurse - off his forehead. Either way - it is quite special. I tend to regard him as a Caulbearer - born to bring about peace to our world.  Malcolm’s father cut the umbilical cord.

For those who have followed my story and have read my book Soul Gifts you will know how significant the number eight has been in my life.  And that I am an “eight”.  Friends know much more about this than me - they pointed it out to me as I became aware of the eight popping up in my life. And now the eight has appeared again with Malcolm Robert. He is an “eight” - like his Grandma Barb.

My talented friend and numerologist. Michelle Arbeau, said this when I asked about the birth -

The time of birth adds to 20.  2 with a zero creates an energy of magnified intuitive senses because, as I already said, 2 is the number of intuition but zero represents heightened spiritual awareness.  Those two numbers combined, at the moment of birth, have bestowed upon him the gift of the seer.  On top of that, he is an 8, the number of wisdom.  He has a direct link with the spiritual realm. A very special boy indeed

Maggie Cat is now in her nineteenth year and I am seeing changes in her. I am going to put her down. She is becoming very thin, is not eating well and she is becoming deaf I think. She poohs where she ought not to and she cries in discomfort sometimes.  She sleeps most of the time although she still comes to my bed at night to sleep beside my head - when I turn all the lights out. She never comes before all the lights are out. She is still a little playful from time to time - like little sparks of life. Today she would not eat freshly cooked chicken which is our special treat.

This is a decision that hurts me. I am questioning whether I am being too selfish or something. I also must be honest and ask myself if I am prepared to invest significant amounts financially in Maggie Cat to give her a little more life. The answer is no.  She has had a long life. A friend has told me a few times that there is something not right with Maggie - but I didn’t want to admit it.  I feel her bony body and know she is not well.  She has been through so much with me.  Good and bad. A real friend. I will put her down before I leave on a visit with friends in warmer climate. And I think I am going to move into an apartment so I have no responsibilities at all.  Maggie can’t go there with me.  So it is all unfolding. I will take a recent picture of her and post it.  (Maggie is in my book Soul Gifts)    Love Barbara

I had four hours sleep then woke.  It is three in the morning.  Daughter is due for my third grandchild and the baby is not yet engaged.  She is on my mind. As is Baby.

The past few days I went through all my cupboards, closets and drawers and prepared several bags of towels, clothes and non perishable food items for a local car dealership. This dealership is taking supplies to Haiti and has also raised a large amount of money.  These goods will not be sitting on the tarmac at Port-au-Prince Airport. Among the clothing, towels and bedding were things I had kept of my mother’s. Now I have let them go.

I put my first post up at Glass Water. The first affirmation is: I like the way I choose to look.  I am still sorting through how to use the forum but you can drop by, register anonymously and you will be sent an email verification.  When you login click Soul Rubbing Exercises.  Read the posts then add your thoughts. I hear Shandarrah is going to participate ! (wink)

Bookmark Glass Water ! the link is here.

Begin this journey with me. I will eventually spread and ask friends to as well once I have my feet under me about the process.

Love Barbara

I will receive my tutorial from Lisa in short order and start my input at Glass Water - my forum.  Robert Tinker remarked to me a few months ago that the name of the forum made him think of  a glass of water. While this was not the inspiration for the name I liked his take on it.  He knows my intention for the forum and said the association of the glass of water might spur people to think about the old cliche about a half glass of water …  is the glass half full or half empty?

In the wake of all the news coverage about the disaster in Haiti - many of us have become mindful of the importance of water.  In my book Soul Gifts I question humanity’s probable wars over water in the future.  When I wrote that -  I was thinking more along the lines of human greed rather than desperation. Water is a very precious commodity for Haitians - born of desperation.  This begs the question - if Haiti is a glass and its people and their life force are the water - then can Haitians (among the poorest in the world) realize their full potential in the aftermath of relentless natural disasters.  Also -  what role do we play to best serve Haitians? The answer to the last question may not be as simple as it seems. And while many are well-intentioned to help in the wake of the earthquake - how long will our attention remain with Haiti?

Haiti was never top of mind to me. All of a sudden the country is top of mind every day! As I tested various cars the past week- in preparation for a purchase - and called sound proofing firms to help me with foot fall/impact noise in my condo - I have felt spoiled. This evening I watched the benefit concerts Canada For Haiti (dot com) and Hope for Haiti Now (dot org) and feel even more spoiled.  I made my donation but it doesn’t feel like nearly enough.  I don’t think anything would feel like enough. Je t’aime. Barbara  (See previous blog posts about Haiti here, here and here. )

Welcome to Glass Water - my forum.  This is intended to help us be the best we can be - attracting as much positivity to our lives as possible.

It looks to me as though LIsa has done excellant work on this. She still has to give me instruction on the forum but you might like to anonymously sign in.  I am looking forward to this  - to keep me tuned in and connected with the world.

You may want to bookmark http://www.shandarrah.com/forum

I expect the first section will be launched within the week.

Love Barbara

With prayers here is Haiti’s Old Lady. Please visit this lady with reverence  ~  protect her dignity in your doing so.

Photograph Published with Permission of retired United Nations staff member Canadian Sherman Allen (Copyright 2008)

I have spoken during the past few blogs about a retired RCMP officer who has come along my path. Following Sherman’s retirement from his career with the RCMP he went on to complete a six-year mission with the United Nations in Haiti.  He came home to Canada August 31, 2009. Today he is waiting to hear about his United Nations colleagues - in the wake of the devastating earthquake.

Sherman shared the above photograph with me in late November.  He has agreed that you may view it and said,  “I took this picture about a year ago in Haiti so if ever we start thinking ‘poor me’ we can look at this photo. Sometimes we don’t realize how fortunate we are. The woman in the photo is in her home and what you see is pretty well all she has. ”

Sherman also shared that many Haitians do not like to be photographed ~ for spiritual reasons.  Out of respect for this lady I ask that the photo be viewed with reverence.  I think that Sherman has captured something important to share with the world.

Previous posts about the situation in Haiti are here and here.  I close with a link to the song One More Day with The Canadian Tenors. The lyrics follow below.  Love Barbara

My love more dear than this life you are to me
Your kiss more clear than the crystal of the sea
Please save me I’m fallen here
I’m lost and alone

An angel weeps
I hear him cry
A lonely prayer
A voice so high

Dry all your tears
Come what may
And in the end the sun will rise
On one more day
Hey

Dry all your tears
Come what may
And in the end the sun will rise
On one more day
Hey

The sun will rise on one more day ….

Canada For Haiti.Com

(This blog is closed to comments. We await Glass Water - the forum - to be activated shortly. It is ready)

Last evening I listened to Governor General Michaelle Jean’s moving words about the disaster in Haiti - her homeland. A tear came to my eye, believe me.  This morning I woke with a heavy heart, thinking of the suffering of many souls while I rested warm and comfortable in my bed.

There have been associations in the news to the Tsunami that took so many lives in 2004. At that time I had conversations with my two sons and wrote it into Soul Gifts: The World’s Self-Help Book. Here is what that section of my book says:

My younger son was visiting for Christmas. A day after the Asian tsunami we lunched together at a department store café. We agreed that there is a natural balance greater than mankind’s will. We discussed how we can exercise self-control, but how we are shown over and over again, through acts of nature, that we cannot control that which is greater than each of us.

Some believe a loving God would never allow something as destructive as the Asian tsunami, that such a cataclysmic event is the work of a merciless God. Punishment for sins. The vengeful act of a devil. And yet, in the wake of so much death and destruction, love poured out from around the world. The survivors suffer their losses but we may yet discover that the ripples of love outdistance the loss and suffering.

Nature rules. My older son also joined us for dinner during this holiday time. He observed that no matter how much tsunami relief is delivered, the lives lost will never be regained and no human effort will compensate for that loss. “I’m not sure I see the balance in that,” he said.

Then he described the plight of a deer on the icy river near his home. He said, I walked out on the ice and found a blood trail from the riverbank. Coyote tracks. Either the coyotes took the deer down, or it slipped on the bank and was injured, then was finished off by the coyotes. The hind-quarters were ripped out. After a few hours, I spotted a huge flock of crows on the deer. You could say nature is cruel. You could say nature is bad or good. Or you could say nature is just nature.

Love Barbara  See more blog posts about Haiti here and here.

Canada For Haiti.com