My third grandchild - Malcolm Robert - arrived and he is just so sweet.  Twenty inches long. 7.4 pounds and born Feb 3 at 8:48 PM.  I just spent a few days with the little family. Daughter was in the hospital about thirty minutes before delivering - it was a quick labour and delivery.  Malcolm was born “en caul”  - within the amniotic sac.  In other words, Daughter’s water never broke. I am not absolutely certain if Malcolm had the caul on his face (known as being born behind the veil) or wore the caul as a cap. His father remembers the caul being swept away by the nurse - off his forehead. Either way - it is quite special. I tend to regard him as a Caulbearer - born to bring about peace to our world.  Malcolm’s father cut the umbilical cord.

For those who have followed my story and have read my book Soul Gifts you will know how significant the number eight has been in my life.  And that I am an “eight”.  Friends know much more about this than me - they pointed it out to me as I became aware of the eight popping up in my life. And now the eight has appeared again with Malcolm Robert. He is an “eight” - like his Grandma Barb.

My talented friend and numerologist. Michelle Arbeau, said this when I asked about the birth -

The time of birth adds to 20.  2 with a zero creates an energy of magnified intuitive senses because, as I already said, 2 is the number of intuition but zero represents heightened spiritual awareness.  Those two numbers combined, at the moment of birth, have bestowed upon him the gift of the seer.  On top of that, he is an 8, the number of wisdom.  He has a direct link with the spiritual realm. A very special boy indeed

Maggie Cat is now in her nineteenth year and I am seeing changes in her. I am going to put her down. She is becoming very thin, is not eating well and she is becoming deaf I think. She poohs where she ought not to and she cries in discomfort sometimes.  She sleeps most of the time although she still comes to my bed at night to sleep beside my head - when I turn all the lights out. She never comes before all the lights are out. She is still a little playful from time to time - like little sparks of life. Today she would not eat freshly cooked chicken which is our special treat.

This is a decision that hurts me. I am questioning whether I am being too selfish or something. I also must be honest and ask myself if I am prepared to invest significant amounts financially in Maggie Cat to give her a little more life. The answer is no.  She has had a long life. A friend has told me a few times that there is something not right with Maggie - but I didn’t want to admit it.  I feel her bony body and know she is not well.  She has been through so much with me.  Good and bad. A real friend. I will put her down before I leave on a visit with friends in warmer climate. And I think I am going to move into an apartment so I have no responsibilities at all.  Maggie can’t go there with me.  So it is all unfolding. I will take a recent picture of her and post it.  (Maggie is in my book Soul Gifts)    Love Barbara

I had four hours sleep then woke.  It is three in the morning.  Daughter is due for my third grandchild and the baby is not yet engaged.  She is on my mind. As is Baby.

The past few days I went through all my cupboards, closets and drawers and prepared several bags of towels, clothes and non perishable food items for a local car dealership. This dealership is taking supplies to Haiti and has also raised a large amount of money.  These goods will not be sitting on the tarmac at Port-au-Prince Airport. Among the clothing, towels and bedding were things I had kept of my mother’s. Now I have let them go.

I put my first post up at Glass Water. The first affirmation is: I like the way I choose to look.  I am still sorting through how to use the forum but you can drop by, register anonymously and you will be sent an email verification.  When you login click Soul Rubbing Exercises.  Read the posts then add your thoughts. I hear Shandarrah is going to participate ! (wink)

Bookmark Glass Water ! the link is here.

Begin this journey with me. I will eventually spread and ask friends to as well once I have my feet under me about the process.

Love Barbara

I will receive my tutorial from Lisa in short order and start my input at Glass Water - my forum.  Robert Tinker remarked to me a few months ago that the name of the forum made him think of  a glass of water. While this was not the inspiration for the name I liked his take on it.  He knows my intention for the forum and said the association of the glass of water might spur people to think about the old cliche about a half glass of water …  is the glass half full or half empty?

In the wake of all the news coverage about the disaster in Haiti - many of us have become mindful of the importance of water.  In my book Soul Gifts I question humanity’s probable wars over water in the future.  When I wrote that -  I was thinking more along the lines of human greed rather than desperation. Water is a very precious commodity for Haitians - born of desperation.  This begs the question - if Haiti is a glass and its people and their life force are the water - then can Haitians (among the poorest in the world) realize their full potential in the aftermath of relentless natural disasters.  Also -  what role do we play to best serve Haitians? The answer to the last question may not be as simple as it seems. And while many are well-intentioned to help in the wake of the earthquake - how long will our attention remain with Haiti?

Haiti was never top of mind to me. All of a sudden the country is top of mind every day! As I tested various cars the past week- in preparation for a purchase - and called sound proofing firms to help me with foot fall/impact noise in my condo - I have felt spoiled. This evening I watched the benefit concerts Canada For Haiti (dot com) and Hope for Haiti Now (dot org) and feel even more spoiled.  I made my donation but it doesn’t feel like nearly enough.  I don’t think anything would feel like enough. Je t’aime. Barbara  (See previous blog posts about Haiti here, here and here. )

Welcome to Glass Water - my forum.  This is intended to help us be the best we can be - attracting as much positivity to our lives as possible.

It looks to me as though LIsa has done excellant work on this. She still has to give me instruction on the forum but you might like to anonymously sign in.  I am looking forward to this  - to keep me tuned in and connected with the world.

You may want to bookmark http://www.shandarrah.com/forum

I expect the first section will be launched within the week.

Love Barbara

With prayers here is Haiti’s Old Lady. Please visit this lady with reverence  ~  protect her dignity in your doing so.

Photograph Published with Permission of retired United Nations staff member Canadian Sherman Allen (Copyright 2008)

I have spoken during the past few blogs about a retired RCMP officer who has come along my path. Following Sherman’s retirement from his career with the RCMP he went on to complete a six-year mission with the United Nations in Haiti.  He came home to Canada August 31, 2009. Today he is waiting to hear about his United Nations colleagues - in the wake of the devastating earthquake.

Sherman shared the above photograph with me in late November.  He has agreed that you may view it and said,  “I took this picture about a year ago in Haiti so if ever we start thinking ‘poor me’ we can look at this photo. Sometimes we don’t realize how fortunate we are. The woman in the photo is in her home and what you see is pretty well all she has. ”

Sherman also shared that many Haitians do not like to be photographed ~ for spiritual reasons.  Out of respect for this lady I ask that the photo be viewed with reverence.  I think that Sherman has captured something important to share with the world.

Previous posts about the situation in Haiti are here and here.  I close with a link to the song One More Day with The Canadian Tenors. The lyrics follow below.  Love Barbara

My love more dear than this life you are to me
Your kiss more clear than the crystal of the sea
Please save me I’m fallen here
I’m lost and alone

An angel weeps
I hear him cry
A lonely prayer
A voice so high

Dry all your tears
Come what may
And in the end the sun will rise
On one more day
Hey

Dry all your tears
Come what may
And in the end the sun will rise
On one more day
Hey

The sun will rise on one more day ….

Canada For Haiti.Com

(This blog is closed to comments. We await Glass Water - the forum - to be activated shortly. It is ready)

Last evening I listened to Governor General Michaelle Jean’s moving words about the disaster in Haiti - her homeland. A tear came to my eye, believe me.  This morning I woke with a heavy heart, thinking of the suffering of many souls while I rested warm and comfortable in my bed.

There have been associations in the news to the Tsunami that took so many lives in 2004. At that time I had conversations with my two sons and wrote it into Soul Gifts: The World’s Self-Help Book. Here is what that section of my book says:

My younger son was visiting for Christmas. A day after the Asian tsunami we lunched together at a department store café. We agreed that there is a natural balance greater than mankind’s will. We discussed how we can exercise self-control, but how we are shown over and over again, through acts of nature, that we cannot control that which is greater than each of us.

Some believe a loving God would never allow something as destructive as the Asian tsunami, that such a cataclysmic event is the work of a merciless God. Punishment for sins. The vengeful act of a devil. And yet, in the wake of so much death and destruction, love poured out from around the world. The survivors suffer their losses but we may yet discover that the ripples of love outdistance the loss and suffering.

Nature rules. My older son also joined us for dinner during this holiday time. He observed that no matter how much tsunami relief is delivered, the lives lost will never be regained and no human effort will compensate for that loss. “I’m not sure I see the balance in that,” he said.

Then he described the plight of a deer on the icy river near his home. He said, I walked out on the ice and found a blood trail from the riverbank. Coyote tracks. Either the coyotes took the deer down, or it slipped on the bank and was injured, then was finished off by the coyotes. The hind-quarters were ripped out. After a few hours, I spotted a huge flock of crows on the deer. You could say nature is cruel. You could say nature is bad or good. Or you could say nature is just nature.

Love Barbara  See more blog posts about Haiti here and here.

Canada For Haiti.com

This afternoon I joined the retired RCMP officer at the movie Avatar.  This man left his mission with the UN only four and a half months ago - August 31. He had spent nearly six years in Haiti following his career with the RCMP.  The earthquake and fate of the people in Haiti wasn’t far from our minds. This gentleman is awaiting news about his colleagues - many (or at least some) are likely to have been in the UN building during its collapse. Our world is small -  by knowing this man I am “once removed” from the ground and people of Haiti. Tragic underpinnings in life. It is hard to digest the suffering.

Avatar - I loved the story and the technology.  I have a fear of heights though and many of the scenes involved heights. This made my stomach tumble. I also had to take off my 3D glasses as I started to feel dizzy.  I think I was unable to appreciate the film as much as others might have.  The colours, the imagination were awesome and the story-line was beautiful I thought.

I am listening to the Canadian Tenors and I am thankful to be settled safely in my condo - warm and cozy. I picked up the CD for a friend but wanted to make sure it was a good one to give her. I think she will really like it ! (She won’t care if I opened it.)  The cut “One More Day” is particularly lovely.

Lisa and her children are down with a Norwalk-type virus.  I feel for them.  Once she is better she will tell me how to get into my forum - Glass Water. This will be a lovely avocation for me over the next couple of years. It will help me feel connected.  Love Barbara  See more blog posts about Haiti Earthquake here and here.

Canada For Haiti.com

Canadian Red Cross Donations Here.

Last week our family was concerned Daughter would be dealing with a breech birth … c-section. Daughter is all about natural births. The doola and doctor were to meet with her Friday morning in an attempt to reposition the baby while in the womb. They gave her preparation exercises. At home Daughter rested on the floor with her bum and legs up. She talked to Baby (URGING to work with her and TURN) while kneading her womb with her hands to encourage baby to get into position. My grandchildren got in the act too, talking to Baby.  When Daughter visited the hospital early the next morning everybody was shocked and delighted to discover Baby had turned - probably while Daughter was sleeping. My son ‘n law was particularly happy as he had just gotten off night shift with RCMP.  So now we are in the count-down.  Baby arrives within the next 2-3 weeks.  Now Baby has a personality - and one of my friends said, “MUST be a girl as a boy baby would never be that co-operative.” I have been chuckling about the entire thing.

I had an email from a fellow who has been reading my blog. Sean. It was in response to my post about an invitation to spend some time on the  back of a touring Harley this summer. (It’s part of my bucket list don’t you know). Anyway, reader Sean said, “Enjoy the bike ride. There can be few more exhilirating or appealing sounds than that of  THE “boom boom” on a Harley. Happy New Year Barbara.”  This response immediately tickled me as when I was sixteen I was teasingly called Boom Boom by the fellows. It was in reference to my walk - probably quite a strut at that point in my life.

Glass Water forum is complete so Lisa will show me how to use it soon.  And then we will invite participation. I think it will be fun. The forum is set up based on the Soul Rubbing Exercises which explore affirmations. We  can attest to these affirmations by yes, no, maybe. And then we can elaborate in My Pot of Thoughts.

The first affirmation is: I like the way I choose to look.

Think about it. And then readers can become involved in the forum - anonymously.

Love Barbara

I feel excited today. I feel positive about life and have, for the first time since surgery two years ago, a feeling that I may have years ahead of me. AND that those years can be experienced in good health (I may always have challenges to overcome but I am strong - not weak and vulnerable as I have felt by times over the past two years.) My doctor (Dr. Irrinki)  has helped me lift all negative or constricting aspects of my life from my shoulders. Sure - life happens and there are always concerns - but the heaviness of responsibility is lifting. I am two years out of surgery and life is finally improving.  My focus on diet and exercise is paying off.  I have had many set-backs in the past two years but I always get back up.  I start over.

Yesterday I had a visit by an old business colleague. I trust him implicitly. He is now in real estate and I wanted to know the worth of my condo and view a townhouse for sale. I won’t make any sudden moves (my kids would disown me). But condo living has  drawbacks in my view. It is not as “lock and go” as it may seem. Density of people and sound transference. I coped with a flood of my until while on vacation at the summer cottage - having to choose flooring, deal with condo management, insurance company and contractors over a five-week period.  Our builder has still not finished the deficiency list (I will have been here for two years in the spring).  I have a strong organizational background and am not very tolerant of processes that are poorly orchestrated. I am practicing patience and keeping my mouth shut but in the long run I will open my mouth (if need be through a legal route) and demand some action as this is my investment here.  I also contracted Jacki of Rental Hounds to keep an eye on things for me as maybe renting will prove to be the best “lock and go” solution. We have not found anything available over the past two years that provides the necessary space for family visits with me and amenities such as underground parking. Who knows - I could live here the rest of my life.  Hard to say.

One thing I will never be accused of is being stuck in a rut. I gave up my home in 2002 - having only lived in two homes since 1993 (pre-divorce and post divorce homes!) I then moved five times in seven years from 2002-2008. Every move has been a blessing and an education. I reached out and expanded my world - from living in a bird sanctuary at the water’s edge (and over a healing studio) to City centre, to another country-living environment in order to watch over my mom.  Overall I have lost no moola, working out deals on expenses, first month’s rent etc. I expended energy which I had plenty of. But that energy did run out in 2008 after my Toronto surgery.  Dr. Oz of television fame says our stamina at 17 and 65 remains the same. Yes - we have wear and tear and scars along the way. But I am going to work towards that 17 year old stamina !!

Home is where the heart is. If you move you take with you all that you carry emotionally. Moves for me have been a way of working through things and opening up my world. I was always a nester - never open to changes in living environments. But my surgeries spurred me on.  And speaking about moving on … I was told just a few weeks ago that I will have a ride on the back of a touring Harley this summer.  A retired RCMP officer who has ridden all his life has me looking forward to that.  The last time I was on the back of a bike  was 1991 - a Fat Boy (Harley) through Whistler Mountain territory.

Love Barbara