Maggie Cat is now in her nineteenth year and I am seeing changes in her. I am going to put her down. She is becoming very thin, is not eating well and she is becoming deaf I think. She poohs where she ought not to and she cries in discomfort sometimes.  She sleeps most of the time although she still comes to my bed at night to sleep beside my head - when I turn all the lights out. She never comes before all the lights are out. She is still a little playful from time to time - like little sparks of life. Today she would not eat freshly cooked chicken which is our special treat.

This is a decision that hurts me. I am questioning whether I am being too selfish or something. I also must be honest and ask myself if I am prepared to invest significant amounts financially in Maggie Cat to give her a little more life. The answer is no.  She has had a long life. A friend has told me a few times that there is something not right with Maggie - but I didn’t want to admit it.  I feel her bony body and know she is not well.  She has been through so much with me.  Good and bad. A real friend. I will put her down before I leave on a visit with friends in warmer climate. And I think I am going to move into an apartment so I have no responsibilities at all.  Maggie can’t go there with me.  So it is all unfolding. I will take a recent picture of her and post it.  (Maggie is in my book Soul Gifts)    Love Barbara

Maggie Cat In 2003 - resting on my bed.

This pic is kind of neat as the edges of the comforter fold into the page here. Mmmmmmmmmmm.

Maggie Cat has been taking her antibiotics quite willingly and we have had loving days. She is not drinking or eating much though. And of course there isn’t much in her litter box. She would not sleep with me last night - something she always has done. The vet’s office called to check on her and so she is going back in on Tuesday. At that time, if she is not greatly improved, I will put her to sleep. My five year old grandson joins me Tuesday evening so that will be lovely.  Then if Daughter is up to it she and the other two children will visit for a night. This way our extended family can meet little Malcolm who is now ten days old !

I didn’t think I could be with Maggie Cat when the time came to put her to sleep but now I know I want to be with her.  What a precious gift she has been to me - this cat.

Maggie Cat was a scrawny kitten (runt of the litter but had a fierce growl) and full of flees when we first met soon after marital split twenty years ago.  She has been with me through thick and thin. In my book I write,  “One of my favourite past-times is to wrap myself in a terry-cloth robe and snuggle in with a book  - my feet tucked under me. The problem is that Maggie Cat likes terry cloth, too. She perches on my lap and drags her claws along the fabric; I end up with long strings trailing. Sometimes Maggie Cat’s claws become caught in the threads and she remains snagged until I disentangle her … If we have viewed ourselves in one way all our lives, we can become caught up, too. Just like Maggie Cat.”

Recent posts about Maggie Cat are here and here.

Love Barbara

Maggie Cat is back to normal - demanding her food. Sleeping with me at night.  I canceled the vet yesterday and will take her on Friday. She will board there while I am away from the City for visits with friends and family. A neighbour visited  Maggie Cat three times with her healing energy.  I truly think Sandy gave Maggie Cat hope (as I had little for her and kept trying to tell her we would meet on the other side).  Between antibiotics and Sandy’s energy - Maggie is thriving at the moment. (We are both finishing off on the same antibiotic - isn’t that a hoot?)

I am putting my condo on the market Friday. Listing for three months and we will see what the market will bear. I can’t seem to write or paint here.  Although perhaps that is because I was healing as well. I may still be here in ten years time - but I am testing the waters in any event.  I thought condominium living would be worry-free but that is not exactly the case. Love Barbara

A special gift for my arrival home is that Maggie Cat is back with me.  While she remains frail she has a lot of spunk and is happy.  She sets a good example !! This is amazing considering I thought I was taking her to be “put down” just a few months ago (see February  2010 posts).  There is a neat song on the Alison Krauss / Robert Plant CD you can find on U tube here > Your Long Journey.  Very touching. Love Barbara

Dear Readers,

During the moving process to Moncton I noticed Maggie Cat’s belly was swelling. I left her Sunday night in Daughter’s care as I had to go to Fredericton to finalize the move. My five-year old grandson went with me and kept me company all day yesterday. Maggie Cat worsened during the overnight and by yesterday afternoon Daughter took her to the vet.  She was diagnosed with tumors and swelling due to body fluids leaking into her abdominal sac. Daughter was told Maggie Cat would only have a few days to live.   She slept by my head last night - where she usually has arrived every night after I turn off the lights (but not until). We had a great sleep, cuddled close together.

I took her to the vet this morning, after she had a good meal, some loving good-byes from the children and lots of loving from me.  I felt no raw emotion. (The nurse in me kicked in I think. ) She was purring and content throughout the morning.  Daughter told me it [the emotion] would hit later. And it did. In the doctor’s office I started to weep for this dear cat who was down to 7.3 pounds -  approximately half of that weight being from the accumulated fluid. But she had spirit right up until the end. Her last food was cheese. She loved cheese. She just laid her sweet head down around ten this morning. She did not protest any step along the way. It was a beautiful morning with a lovely breeze and sunshine. I told her it was a good day to die.

Last evening I asked my faithful companion of nineteen years to visit me in my dreams after she passed over. I told her to enjoy her life on the other side and named my other cats already there. I asked her to visit with them. While I have always been a fan of cats I never had one with me as long as Maggie Cat. I told her I loved her with all my heart. And I said good-by to her until my time comes to join her in the hereafter.

Maggie Cat was the runt of her litter. She didn’t start growing until she was about eight or nine months of age. But she ended up a beautiful, long-bodied cat who was affectionate and loyal. I will miss her. Her passing was very peaceful. We will have a prayer for her at dinner with the children and when we receive her cremated remains our family will have a funeral service for her. My grandson played her a farewell song today on his little electronic piano. It is his idea that we need to have a funeral.

And today - in a few hours - my movers arrive. Maggie saw me through to the end. Making this big transition in my life a little easier. I have three grandchildren to cuddle up to now. And life begins again as I let go of the old.  I will miss my Maggie Cat. She is immortalized in Soul Gifts: The World’s Self-Help Book.

Thank you Maggie Cat - Love Mommy  (Previous Posts Regarding Maggie Cat’s Journey 2010 - click on the category Maggie Cat )

P.S. at 3:40 PM — Waiting to get into the house I will be “borrowing” - to put it in my grandson’s terms. (I am renting until we know what we are doing as a family). I am a bit emotional about Maggie Cat. I can’t believe she is gone. A friend believes she will journey with me in Spirit. I believe she will too.

P.P.S. The movers and closing of the house finally arrived by five today and so I got them started, gave them the key and said “see you tomorrow”. I had a melt down this afternoon. In my grandaughter’s enthusiasm to see me late this aft she ploughed me a good one directly on the bridge of my nose. It hurt like all get out. I then went to my room and bawled my eyes out. So it’s relaxation time with the children this evening. And no Maggie Cat by my head. I don’t think I will like that very much.